Are you more bamboo than oak?
“The bamboo that bends is stronger than the oak that resists.”
Japanese Proverb
What has this quote got to do with resilience and coaching? If you explore the meaning of resilience at the heart of it is our ability to adapt and change. Al Siebert, PhD wrote that “highly resilient people are flexible, adapt to new circumstances quickly, and thrive in constant change. Most important, they expect to bounce back and feel confident they will.” Jenny Campbell of Resilience Engine® and Lifetimeswork explains that resilience is fundamental to change because “it’s a measure of how much change you can adapt to successfully. And if you are leading change, others will rely on you being able to both adapt yourself and understand the challenges involved in adapting so you can help them.”
My current thinking is that resilience is our capacity to handle what comes at us by accessing and utilising the resources we have available to us, combined with our ability to learn which enables us to change and grow. When what comes at us is greater than the resources we have at our disposal our ability to handle the situation reduces and this is where fear, anxiety, stress and lack of adaptability come to the fore; we look for certainty and as a result find change difficult.
Consider the demands of today’s workplace, doing more with less, working at a faster pace than ever before and working with the relentless pace of change then resilience is critical to us all. Add into the mix technology and being ‘on’ 24/7, if we don’t have approaches to manage and build our resilience we might easily find ourselves floundering in our work and lives. By developing our resilience, we will experience greater flexibility, less stress, greater satisfaction and higher performance. So being more bamboo and less oak maybe the way forward!
What happens when we lose our resilience?
Many things can happen when our resilience reduces or we lose it altogether. What I have seen in the executives I coach is that they may have difficulty making decisions or experience a loss of self-confidence or difficulty in managing their emotions. Other symptoms may be a changed way of thinking for example you might typically be an optimist and suddenly you find it difficult to be optimistic or find perspective. Worst case scenario, you experience severe stress and find it difficult to function.
Personally, when I lose my resilience I find it harder to manage my emotions and typically get into a cycle of working longer and longer hours – not helpful! Being aware of this tendency and making a choice about my actions are two approaches I use to sustain my resilience.
When we are at our best and feeling resilient we are likely to be calm, contented, feeling healthy, adaptable and resourceful.
What are three things you can do right now to start building your resilience?
Go for a short walk – spending time outdoors (just 20 minutes will do) leads to more expansive and open thinking according to Barbara Frederickson.
Sleep – getting sufficient sleep is critical to your resilience!
Take a mental break – mental breaks help keep stress chemicals at bay, reducing the likelihood of becoming overwhelmed and reactive.
